The holy Church of Lux
Friends, have you been dis-illousioned with the Holy Church of Lux's Symbols and archaic Practices? Before you slip to the dark side of Anti-Lux, please consider the schizophrenia, i mean The Peoples Judean Front- Reform Church of Lux, not to be confused with the Judean Peoples Front - Church of Lux Reform.... Before you loose your cards to the Anti- Church of Lux...
well the debate of the true church of lux is over.
this was found in the holy archives this morning.
http://homepage.mac.com/wbyron/painting ... bum25.html
repent.
this was found in the holy archives this morning.
http://homepage.mac.com/wbyron/painting ... bum25.html
repent.
- Preacherman
- Semiholy Priest
- Posts: 4496
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 3:52 am
- Location: Sweden (capital of Denmark, an island in Norway, southern Europe)
- Contact:
∞ Brothers and sisters of the holy Church of Lux, Friends, Luxers, Simians ∞
I come to you now one last time in this, your hour of greatest need, to shed light. To bless those of the one true faith, to SMITE those who have not seen the light, and to strategically shave some of you.
Brother toro has shown, in the sacred pages of the Church of Lux archives, the holy trinity - the sacred symbol of infinity, the sacred duck, and the sacred fig adorned my person then, as they do now. Proof everlasting of the righteous path chosen by those who know I rock like me.
Whilst I have been gratified by the good work done by those devoted souls who shall rock on into Luxternity, and whose names shall be remembered for ever more; it is alas with a heavy heart I must point to certain individuals amongst you who have chosen to stray, and who refused to return to the bosums of their sisters (and some of their brothers), despite repeated invitations and promises of salvation and forgiveness.
mbauer, the tide, and the monkey known as Kef have displeased me. It is not easy to preach forgiveness in light of what you have done. The slander, the lies, not to mention the copyright infringements; are all greivous acts of damnation. And yet - I shall spare your souls.
Kef, it has been brought to my attention that something shiny was shown to you, and you were thus mislead. I sentance you to a life of spam. Never again will your reputation as a Lux player come close to that which once it was. Henceforth, when the name Kef is uttered, it shall be with the recognition of one whose ability to post pointless comments preceeds his ability to kick ass on the great fields of Lux. Let it be so.
The Tide, it is well known that you would mud wrestle your own mother for a sack of french porn, and it is as such perhaps understandable for a man of your questionable morality to fall by the wayside. However, you are of an obvious higher intellect than your simian partner in crime, and as such your punishment must be more severe. I hereby sentence you to have to put up with the "High Tide" joke everytime you enter a network game, for all eternity. Furthermore, may your duck always be undercooked, your figs always be rotten, and your porn always be from the 1980's. Let it be so.
Mbauer. I reserve my harshest judgement for you, yet it is with the most sorrow I must pass it, for you were a young shining star in the Church of Lux once - verily were you filled with the good faith, yea were you blessed by your fellows, and mightily were you championed. Your name was held aloft as a shining beacon of Luxdom, and yet...you let it fall, sullied now by the last desperate acts of a broken man, you have turned your back on those that loved you the most, and in doing so, sold your soul. You refused to atone for your sins when offered the opportunity, you refused to be exorcised when we who loved you deemed it most necessary. You refused to stay strapped onto the top of brother sasquatch's Oldsmobile with a bungie cord, and most hurtful - you take my name - the name of Lincoln, inextricably entwined with the Church of Lux - in vain. Blasphemy! I hereby condemn you the ultimate ignobility. Henceforth, annually on this day, you shall be the target of suicidal newbies. I am sorry, but you brought this on yourself. Let it be so. And you still owe us for a new stained glass window.
May the Church of Lux continue to shine as a beacon of truth, understanding, quality pornography, succulent figs, fine coffee, and friendly ducks; for a thousand years to come. Amen.
This message has been brought to you by Lincoln of the semi-holy church of Lux.
The views in this message are not endorsed in any way by the management of Lux. Don't make me smite you with a plague. brb coffee©, fig®, duck® and Lincoln™ are copyright Church of Lux. All rights reserved. Shaddup Kef.
I come to you now one last time in this, your hour of greatest need, to shed light. To bless those of the one true faith, to SMITE those who have not seen the light, and to strategically shave some of you.
Brother toro has shown, in the sacred pages of the Church of Lux archives, the holy trinity - the sacred symbol of infinity, the sacred duck, and the sacred fig adorned my person then, as they do now. Proof everlasting of the righteous path chosen by those who know I rock like me.
Whilst I have been gratified by the good work done by those devoted souls who shall rock on into Luxternity, and whose names shall be remembered for ever more; it is alas with a heavy heart I must point to certain individuals amongst you who have chosen to stray, and who refused to return to the bosums of their sisters (and some of their brothers), despite repeated invitations and promises of salvation and forgiveness.
mbauer, the tide, and the monkey known as Kef have displeased me. It is not easy to preach forgiveness in light of what you have done. The slander, the lies, not to mention the copyright infringements; are all greivous acts of damnation. And yet - I shall spare your souls.
Kef, it has been brought to my attention that something shiny was shown to you, and you were thus mislead. I sentance you to a life of spam. Never again will your reputation as a Lux player come close to that which once it was. Henceforth, when the name Kef is uttered, it shall be with the recognition of one whose ability to post pointless comments preceeds his ability to kick ass on the great fields of Lux. Let it be so.
The Tide, it is well known that you would mud wrestle your own mother for a sack of french porn, and it is as such perhaps understandable for a man of your questionable morality to fall by the wayside. However, you are of an obvious higher intellect than your simian partner in crime, and as such your punishment must be more severe. I hereby sentence you to have to put up with the "High Tide" joke everytime you enter a network game, for all eternity. Furthermore, may your duck always be undercooked, your figs always be rotten, and your porn always be from the 1980's. Let it be so.
Mbauer. I reserve my harshest judgement for you, yet it is with the most sorrow I must pass it, for you were a young shining star in the Church of Lux once - verily were you filled with the good faith, yea were you blessed by your fellows, and mightily were you championed. Your name was held aloft as a shining beacon of Luxdom, and yet...you let it fall, sullied now by the last desperate acts of a broken man, you have turned your back on those that loved you the most, and in doing so, sold your soul. You refused to atone for your sins when offered the opportunity, you refused to be exorcised when we who loved you deemed it most necessary. You refused to stay strapped onto the top of brother sasquatch's Oldsmobile with a bungie cord, and most hurtful - you take my name - the name of Lincoln, inextricably entwined with the Church of Lux - in vain. Blasphemy! I hereby condemn you the ultimate ignobility. Henceforth, annually on this day, you shall be the target of suicidal newbies. I am sorry, but you brought this on yourself. Let it be so. And you still owe us for a new stained glass window.
May the Church of Lux continue to shine as a beacon of truth, understanding, quality pornography, succulent figs, fine coffee, and friendly ducks; for a thousand years to come. Amen.
This message has been brought to you by Lincoln of the semi-holy church of Lux.
The views in this message are not endorsed in any way by the management of Lux. Don't make me smite you with a plague. brb coffee©, fig®, duck® and Lincoln™ are copyright Church of Lux. All rights reserved. Shaddup Kef.
- John Wilkes Booth
- Luxer
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Fri Dec 03, 2004 12:41 pm
- Location: On the run
- Preacherman
- Semiholy Priest
- Posts: 4496
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 3:52 am
- Location: Sweden (capital of Denmark, an island in Norway, southern Europe)
- Contact:
High tide...
His holiness Lincoln has asked me to respond thusly, in these, his words :
"The terms of your redemption were clearly laid out to you not two score hours ago. In order to be welcomed once again into the ample bosum of sister michelle, and be rewarded with the position of Guardian of the Church of Lux Mega Vault of Quality Porn, and the key which comes with that fabled position; it is necessary for you to publically renounce the anti-Church of Lux and it's creator mbauer as fraudulent, as well as vote here if you haven't already done so, to keep the holy infintity emote symbol intact."
He also asked me to point out that mortal bullets can no longer harm him.
His holiness Lincoln has asked me to respond thusly, in these, his words :
"The terms of your redemption were clearly laid out to you not two score hours ago. In order to be welcomed once again into the ample bosum of sister michelle, and be rewarded with the position of Guardian of the Church of Lux Mega Vault of Quality Porn, and the key which comes with that fabled position; it is necessary for you to publically renounce the anti-Church of Lux and it's creator mbauer as fraudulent, as well as vote here if you haven't already done so, to keep the holy infintity emote symbol intact."
He also asked me to point out that mortal bullets can no longer harm him.
<>mbauer, El Toro, Preacherman, Sasquatch, Michelle, Kef, and Tide form an angry mob and head off to old man Garret's farm. Upon arriving they find Booth held up in the barn<>
Preacherman: Come out Booth!
Booth: Never!
El Toro: We want blood Booth. I shall smite thee
<>michelle licks her lips<>
<>Sasquatch eats a duck<>
<>Kef helps himself to some spam<>
mbauer: Surrender, or we'll set fire to the barn and smoke you out like rats!
<>Tide is indecisive about the next action to take<>
Booth: Well, my brave boys, you can prepare a stretcher for me! I will never surrender!
<>The mob works together to gather straw and other flammable material. They then proceed to light the barn on fire<>
Booth: Burn in Lux Hell you bastards!
<>mbauer sees Booth through a crack in the barn and against Preacherman's orders shoots Booth through the neck with a lucky and well placed shot<>
Preacherman: Nice shot MB!
Booth: lon.....g......live.....grgl
<>Booth's life passes from him<>
<>The angry mob congratulates one another on a job well done. The group laughs and enjoys a well deserved fig and some quality porn. Suddenly they realize that they have just worked together and have forgotten their differences. An awkward silence falls over the group.<>
michelle: Looks like Lincoln can teach us a thing or two in death too
<>The brethren laugh and laugh and skip off into the sunset hand in hand, for the Church of Lux is united once again.<>
*edit to note that mbauer now respects the infinity symbol as the symbol of the true Church of Lux, but alas cannot make it for when he does it turns into a question mark much to his shagrin. Not knowing what else to do, he is forced to use the old symbol of the anti-holy church of lux but means no disrespect.
Preacherman: Come out Booth!
Booth: Never!
El Toro: We want blood Booth. I shall smite thee
<>michelle licks her lips<>
<>Sasquatch eats a duck<>
<>Kef helps himself to some spam<>
mbauer: Surrender, or we'll set fire to the barn and smoke you out like rats!
<>Tide is indecisive about the next action to take<>
Booth: Well, my brave boys, you can prepare a stretcher for me! I will never surrender!
<>The mob works together to gather straw and other flammable material. They then proceed to light the barn on fire<>
Booth: Burn in Lux Hell you bastards!
<>mbauer sees Booth through a crack in the barn and against Preacherman's orders shoots Booth through the neck with a lucky and well placed shot<>
Preacherman: Nice shot MB!
Booth: lon.....g......live.....grgl
<>Booth's life passes from him<>
<>The angry mob congratulates one another on a job well done. The group laughs and enjoys a well deserved fig and some quality porn. Suddenly they realize that they have just worked together and have forgotten their differences. An awkward silence falls over the group.<>
michelle: Looks like Lincoln can teach us a thing or two in death too
<>The brethren laugh and laugh and skip off into the sunset hand in hand, for the Church of Lux is united once again.<>
*edit to note that mbauer now respects the infinity symbol as the symbol of the true Church of Lux, but alas cannot make it for when he does it turns into a question mark much to his shagrin. Not knowing what else to do, he is forced to use the old symbol of the anti-holy church of lux but means no disrespect.
- Preacherman
- Semiholy Priest
- Posts: 4496
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 3:52 am
- Location: Sweden (capital of Denmark, an island in Norway, southern Europe)
- Contact:
Sorry, just have to blow that small print up at the bottom, I am having problems reading it...
∞ preacherman holds out his arms to mbauer in a symbol of brotherly love ∞
Welcome home, Fig Boy. You have been missed. Amen.
Ahh. That's what I thought it said.mbauer wrote:...mbauer now respects the infinity symbol as the symbol of the true Church of Lux...
∞ preacherman holds out his arms to mbauer in a symbol of brotherly love ∞
Welcome home, Fig Boy. You have been missed. Amen.
- Preacherman
- Semiholy Priest
- Posts: 4496
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 3:52 am
- Location: Sweden (capital of Denmark, an island in Norway, southern Europe)
- Contact:
:∞
∞
: ∞
[∞]
&#(8734)
? <------alt 5
I don't get it It doesn't work for me.
Is this part of my punishment for dissenting, I'm cursed to never be able to make the symbol of the Church of Lux.
<>mbauer hangs his head in shame and in failure<>
p.s. I love that animation sas!
*edit to note that mbauer now respects the infinity symbol as the symbol of the true Church of Lux, but alas cannot make it for when he does it turns into a question mark much to his shagrin. Not knowing what else to do, he is forced to use the old symbol of the anti-holy church of lux but means no disrespect.
∞
: ∞
[∞]
&#(8734)
? <------alt 5
I don't get it It doesn't work for me.
Is this part of my punishment for dissenting, I'm cursed to never be able to make the symbol of the Church of Lux.
<>mbauer hangs his head in shame and in failure<>
p.s. I love that animation sas!
*edit to note that mbauer now respects the infinity symbol as the symbol of the true Church of Lux, but alas cannot make it for when he does it turns into a question mark much to his shagrin. Not knowing what else to do, he is forced to use the old symbol of the anti-holy church of lux but means no disrespect.
- Preacherman
- Semiholy Priest
- Posts: 4496
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 3:52 am
- Location: Sweden (capital of Denmark, an island in Norway, southern Europe)
- Contact:
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