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Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 9:37 pm
by el toro
The fine folks at TorStar would like to thank independent investigator Sasquatch for is fine work in uncovering the evil counterfeit cucumber. It brings a tear to this old Luxer's eye to see that there are still people like brother sasquatch that care about Lux, Luxtopia and the semi-holy church of Lux so much.

Sasquatch, you sir rock like Lincoln.

Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 1:06 pm
by mbauer
At first glance this all looks very convincing. However, like everything with Torstar and the semi-holy church, it's a all facade!

Luckily for the good citizens of luxtopia our savior the Quasar Angel was watching the evil Torstar corporation and the Semi-Holy church without their knowledge.


So disgusted was he by his initial findings, Quasar used his new feature of growing and shrinking in size, to slip into the Semi-Holy church of Lux headquarters to do a little sleuth work. The Angel Quasar then sent me the evidence he gathered so I may spread the news and warn our noble luxtopians about the true dealings of El Toro, Sasquatch, Preacherman, and the other vial leaders of the semi-holy church.

Exhibit A: Just what is that guy writing on his clipboard. The Quasar Angel got a picture

Exhibit B: El Toro, and Sasquatch (or should I call him Igor) creating the evil cucumber mutant

Exhibit C:The Torstar Research and development team monitoring their new army of evil cucumber mutants

Exhibit D:Sasquatch/Igor releasing 1 of the mutant cucumbers on one of his supposed "Mountain hikes"

As you can see these pictures are still in the Angel Quasar's digital camera, so there's no way I could have altered them.

Now join me my fellow luxtopians in finally dismantling the wretched institution known as the Semi-Holy Church of Lux and finally return Luxdom to it's rightful owners...the luxers! We can't let the angel Quasar down!

Sic Semper Tyranis!

Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 2:26 pm
by MissChaos
:smt044 :smt044

Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:34 pm
by sasquatch
Toro Corp's Newer Technologies department has been aware of your "black project" called Pickle Vision for months now. The above photos have been processed in camera and they were ordinary raw cucumbers (not pickles) before the clever pickle plus digital filter did its job. I don't think the Quasar will be happy to see how you have tricked him into deceit. We have your in-house marketing materials explaining the camera's operations complete with schematics, illustrations and photos...



Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 6:17 pm
by AquaRegia
All the evidence presented by BOTH sides is SO convincing...

∞ AquaRegia doesn't know WHAT to believe ∞

That PickleVision Camera is especially fiendish.

Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 6:40 pm
by el toro
yes aqua,

we at the semi-holy church of Lux are very concerned mbauer's new wave of evil. it would seem he picked up some new evil skills while in the hall of the damned. i'm just glad this 8 mega pickle camera was discovered by the independent investigator. just knowing brother sasquatch is out there looking out for luxtopia makes us all sleep better at night.

you are welcome.

Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 6:37 am
by Mouldy Dog
As some of you may know, i have a nose for investigation, and here are my results,


i found these jars of pickles on the shelves of Torstar Corp.

on further investigation, ( i turned them round to see the label) and behold


Whitehouse pickles......

A true conspiracy theory in the making....

is Torstar Corp the corporation thats running the world?

watch this space.......

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:


more evidence to follow....

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:58 am
by BarStar
As CCO of TorStar I am here to let you all know of the false statements made by the LYING MD..

First of all, I see every product that is introduced into the TORSTAR CATALOG. We have never offered a pickle. I went to MD's website and was suprized to see this photo of 3 pickle jars on that site offered up as STOCK ART for the masses to buy as a poster. Obviously MD is in some kind of crooked under the table deal with MB to produce these said PICKLE POSTERS on canvas to further populate the world with these vile veggies in some type of WILD POSTING campaign.




As for MD's second image...You'll notice he said..."turned around the jar"...well look closely, there are no pickles in that jar. Another ruse to misinform.

And finally, a silly photo with a "cartoon" bubble in it? Paaaaalease..... Cartoons are not proof. Especially cartoons that say that TorStar is a "short" name for the Semi-Holy Church. When everyone knows that TorStar is a Subsidary of the Semi-Holy Church of Lux.

Hope this clears up everything for you all...

and You're Welcome.

Mouldy Dog wrote:more FAKE evidence to follow....

Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 11:26 am
by Mouldy Dog
That is absolute piffle,

I neither know how those pickles got on that website, or do i know anything about that website...

:shock: :shock: :shock:

/me runs and hides from the might of the Torstar corp.

Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 2:03 pm
by el toro

let all heed this: pickles are bad for dogs. it darkens my heart that smart truck industries, and mbauer are deeply evolved in animal testing. this is an immoral and dangerous practice and is a great sin against the semi-holy church of Lux, and all of Luxtopia.

Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 2:24 pm
by mbauer
Leave it to ToroCorp and the Sem-holy church to get everything wrong and then try and mislead the luxtopians. Is anyone surprsied? didn't think so...

The pickle vision camera is a valuable resource and will revolutionize the field of amateur photography. Contrary to what the semis would like you to believe, it does not change cucumber into pickles, there is only one appropriately named process that can accomplish such a miraculous feet. Neither does it put pickles into a photograph where there was none to begin with. Look at this example:

Here is a picture taken of King Quasar with a standard camera.

Here is the same picture taken with the pickle vision.

Notice there is no change.

Now here is a picture (taken with a standard camera) of brother Dustin with 3 dorks (judging from the dimly lit seedy bar they are most likely in Chicago). Notice they are all enjoying some nice pickles on a stick.

Here is the same photgraph with the new 8 mega pickle vision camera available from SmartTruck industries

Notice the pickles are much more vibrant, juicy, and delicious. And everyone looks much more pleased because of it.
BarStar wrote:I see every product that is introduced into the TORSTAR CATALOG. We have never offered a pickle.
Oh really then how do you explain this:


And there's nothing wrong with spreading pickle art, it's the finest art available.
Mouldy Dog wrote: /me runs and hides from the might of the Torstar corp.
Fear not my young apprentice, there is nothing to fear. The semi's are just a bunch of hot air.

Sic Semper Tyranis!

Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 4:40 pm
by AquaRegia
∞ AquaRegia finally stops laughing and gets up off the floor ∞

Praise be to Quasar that mbauer has returned from his exile to enlighten us. If this were a PhotoShop Smackdown (or whatever) this would be a TKO.

Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 5:13 pm
by MinorKing
CheeseBeer™ is people?

Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 6:31 pm
by paranoiarodeo
Aqua = Booth Lover


Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 8:13 pm
by BarStar
Heed Brother Para's words!

and YEA!

Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2006 1:13 am
by sasquatch
I humbly submit photographic evidence that PickleVision has more than one Pickles Plus mode....